Tackling Domestic Abuse: Turning Awareness into Action

By Cheryll Hamid, Head of Domestic Abuse Services at YMCA Together. 

Domestic abuse is as common as it is persistent.

The latest statistics* show that around 2.3 million adults experienced domestic abuse in England and Wales last year. In Liverpool, we discuss between 70 and 100 high-risk cases in our bi-weekly Multi-Agency Risk Assessment Conference. That’s dozens of high-risk cases every fortnight in our city alone.

But these numbers only scratch the surface – they don’t include lower-risk cases or the incidents that go unreported. To truly understand domestic abuse, we need to look beyond figures and into the realities survivors face.

 

The Myths That Hide Abuse

While abuse affects all groups, women are far more likely to face repeated, severe harm. Tragically, femicide remains a recurring reality. 

But the truth is, many cases never make it into official figures. A key factor in this under-reporting is the myths around domestic abuse. False beliefs, such as ‘domestic abuse always involves physical violence’, mean that people often don’t recognise coercive control, emotional abuse, and financial abuse as types of domestic abuse. As such, these cases can go unseen, unheard, and ignored.

Domestic abuse happens across every community, not just ‘certain groups’ as some believe. It’s not a ‘private matter’. And, while perpetrators must be held to account, the notion that they are all ‘monsters’ ignores the need for prevention and rehabilitation.

Another damaging myth is that people can ‘just leave.’ Leaving may sound simple. But for someone being coerced, controlled, and gaslit into believing they have no support system or that their abuse is their fault, leaving can feel impossible. The barriers become even greater with the added complexity of mental health struggles, drug and alcohol use, or homelessness. For individuals experiencing these complex needs, it can seem that their own survival depends on the perpetrator. 

Perpetuating these myths or telling someone to “just leave” isn’t only naïve – it’s dangerous. That’s why, when someone does come forward, the first step must be to offer them support. 

 

Meeting Survivors Where They’re At

When a domestic abuse survivor turns to us, their primary need is safety. That might mean a refuge place or secure accommodation. Crucially, survivors need to be believed, and given emotional reassurance that they’ve done the right thing. 

Imagine raising children in a community for years, then suddenly having to leave behind school, friends, and support networks to rebuild from scratch. The weight of that decision can be overwhelming.

Many survivors arrive without money or possessions, which is why every space we provide includes food and welcome packs. Some need mental health support or help with recovering from drugs or alcohol. Survivors may need legal advocacy and guidance from Independent Domestic Violence Advisors (IDVAs). For parents, child-focused support is just as critical.

We also know that men, LGBTQ+ people, older victims, migrants and disabled survivors often face extra barriers. 

Support must meet people where they’re at, not where society expects them to be.

As professionals, it’s tempting to go into rescue mode, to tell people what they need. But it’s the survivors who are experts in their own lives and in the behaviours of perpetrators. Our role is to listen without judgment.

Gradually, through trust and relationship-building, the realisation of domestic abuse comes to the surface. From there, we can help rebuild the survivor’s resilience.

However, it isn’t only adults who live with the consequences of domestic abuse. Children are deeply affected, too.

 

Breaking the Cycle

Growing up in an abusive home often leaves children in a constant state of fight or flight, leading to spikes in behaviour. For example, when children arrive in Refuge, they can become demanding or controlling, as they test out the control they’ve never had before.

The early scars of domestic abuse can lead to fear, mistrust, and difficulties in feeling safe, secure and valued. Witnessing abuse as a child can also increase the risk of repeating these behaviours in adulthood.

While the law now recognises children as victims in their own right, the services don’t exist to give them the support they need. Today, children are often treated as an extension of their parents’ cases. That isn’t enough. Children need targeted support, not an afterthought, if we’re to break the cycle of domestic abuse for the next generation. 

That means schools being trauma-informed, health services asking the right questions, and communities creating visible safe spaces where families can turn for help.

 

Closing the Gaps in Domestic Abuse Support

There are several shortfalls in domestic abuse support. Accommodation for people with complex needs is hard to secure. IDVAs are stretched beyond capacity. Grassroots services struggle to survive, relying on year-to-year funding when they need long-term stability.

These shortfalls mean that too many survivors have nowhere to go.

In Liverpool, we are fortunate that the local authority has invested in tackling domestic abuse. But there is still more we can do. Without sustained investment in crisis services, housing, therapy, childcare, benefits and employment, survivors and their children will continue to fall through the cracks.

For our part, YMCA Together has developed a range of pathways in recent years, from family refuges and dispersed safe accommodation to specialist services like our Domestic Abuse Recovery Service (DARS). Through our Safe Accommodation Project, we provide self-contained properties with 24/7 trauma-informed support, alongside local terraced houses converted into single-occupancy homes.

One of our latest projects is Steps to Sanctuary, which challenges the common injustice that forces survivors to leave while the perpetrators stay. Where it is safe to do so, we’re helping people remain in their homes, with additional security and support.

These initiatives reduce homelessness, keep survivors rooted in their communities, and show how partnership with funders and local agencies delivers practical solutions.

But even the best support services can only do so much if perpetrators are not held to account.

 

Make Perpetrators Accountable

We must treat domestic abuse as the serious crime it is and demand stronger action across the justice system. 

If the system doesn’t hold perpetrators to account and ensure real consequences, abuse will continue, unchecked. Too many offenders slip through the system without receiving meaningful sentences or supervision. That has to change. 

Alongside firm criminal justice action, properly funded and scrutinised perpetrator programmes can also reduce reoffending. 

Yet, tackling domestic abuse isn’t just the responsibility of support services or the government. Communities and individuals also play a part. If you hear neighbours arguing and fear someone may be at risk, you can call the police anonymously. 

We must be brave enough to speak out where we suspect abuse is taking place. 

Many survivors tell us that all they wanted was for someone to notice and ask. This small act of courage could save someone’s life. 

 

Together, We Can End Domestic Abuse

Tackling domestic abuse will take more than patching up gaps in services. We must rebuild a culture of empathy, where communities look out for one another instead of turning away.

We need systemic change, too: sustained funding for refuges, IDVAs and children’s services, national minimum standards backed by ring-fenced investment, and workplaces that step up with safe HR pathways for staff.

We also need stronger national coordination and better joined-up systems, so survivors aren’t lost between services

You can help by learning the signs, asking safely, and signposting to support. What we must never do is confront perpetrators directly, as it risks making things worse.

YMCA Together will continue to respond where we identify a need, whether through safe spaces, recovery pathways, or community hubs for tea, conversation, and peer support.

Looking ahead, prevention in schools, survivor-led services, and joined-up local systems will be key. 

Individuals, services, government, and the justice system need to work together to help survivors escape abuse and achieve independence, stability, and long-term recovery.

Safety is the starting point. Action is the only way forward.

Advice and support if you’re experiencing domestic abuse.

*source – Office for National Statistics